


Snoke's Meeting

by ImperialRemnant



Series: Shenanigans of the Force Kind [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 11:15:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5288636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImperialRemnant/pseuds/ImperialRemnant
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time for Snoke’s meeting has come. It doesn’t go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snoke's Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Again, grammar or tense issues my own :\

It had been a busy night, but the time for Snoke’s meeting had come. Phasma was the first in the room, other than Snoke himself. She may have been a few minutes early, but she hated to be late.

In the middle of the room the strategy table was already projecting the planetary system.  

“Morning sir,” Phasma said, glad to find Snoke was fully dressed now and hadn’t come in wearing the towel.

Snoke muttered something which sounded like ‘morning Captain’, not looking away from numbers scrolling across a monitor.

“A lovely morning, isn’t it?” Phasma said, “Machines whirring softly, lights shining brightly.”

“Yes, yes,” Snoke said. He looked away from the monitor and over to Phasma, walking around the table, “How are things with Kylo and the General, Captain?” 

“Kylo Ren and General Hux, sir?” Phasma asked, “Good, I suppose.” She would have asked ‘why’, but everyone knew not to question the Supreme Leader.

Snoke walked so that he was now in front of her, putting a hand on her shoulder, “Just know, Captain, if there are ever any issues, you can always come to me.”

“Thank you sir,” Phasma said, still very,  _very_  confused. Perhaps it had to do with the Resistance thinking the three of them were in a relationship. 

Odd indeed. 

If she were being honest, she’d rather be in a relationship with somebody fictional. Like Brienne of Tarth. Yes, there was one person she could be in a relationship with. Or, if she had to choose a real person, perhaps that Jamie guy she met on Taris. Yes, he had been quite good with a vibroblade. Pity she had to kill him.

That being said, she did know Hux and Kylo quite well, and wouldn’t necessarily say  _no_. 

“Who do you think is better?” Snoke suddenly asked, as he continued circling the projection of the galaxy.

“Sir?” Phasma was yanked out of her thoughts.

“Between Kylo and Hux, who’s better?”

“Well they’re both exceptionally valuable to this Order, sir,” Phasma answered, not noticing the Supreme Leader correctly saying Hux’s name.

“You misunderstand me, Captain. I mean in general. Who’s the better man? Who do you get along with better? Who would you rather spend time with?”

Phasma stayed silent, going through the questions to herself slowly, thinking of answers. The better man? 

Well the Jedi would argue there were no good men in the First Order because they were tyrannical or something ridiculous like that. Hux could be pretty ruthless, and Kylo used the  _Dark_ Side of the force if that was anything to go by.

She got along quite well with both, she liked to believe. Sure Kylo could do stupid things, but sometimes it was stressing to be around the General. It’s like his own stress and frustration radiated through a room. Or maybe Phasma was force sensitive without realizing it.

“They both have their pros and cons, sir,” Phasma finally answered. She never thought to compare the two before, they were very different people.

Snoke nodded, “But you couldn’t say there’s one you’d rather hang out with?”

Phasma shrugged, “depends on the day I guess, sir.”

Snoke stopped walking, putting his hands behind his back, eyes unfocused, “Kylo’s always been my favourite. Although I never really ‘hung out’ with the General to know much. He’s a workaholic. It’s sad to see. You know he tried to report Kylo to me because he had tried to put a gundark in a tutu, and interrupted my own science experiment!”

“The drunk rancor?” Phasma asked, a second too late realizing maybe she wasn’t supposed to know about it.

Snoke looked at her, raised eyebrow (or an equivalent thereof), then looking away, “Yes the drunk rancor. Perhaps we should try putting a tutu on a rancor.”

“Perhaps unwise, sir,” Phasma said, quickly adding, “But out of curiosity, how did the experiment go?”

“You know I forgot to write it down,” Snoke scratched his chin.

“You realize it’s not science until you write it down, don’t you sir?”

Snoke stared at Phasma and said, “We must try this experiment again.”

“Very well, sir,” Phasma knew it would be irresponsible to voice otherwise.

“And we’ll put a tutu on it!”

Phasma stayed silent, wondering if it would be worth the punishment to argue with him.

* * *

 “We are not putting a tutu on a rancor!” It seemed Hux thought it worth the punishment. The meeting had started, and Snoke explained the attack on the Resistance. Then he had moved onto other matters i.e. Rancor. Drunk. In tutu.

“Huds, I couldn’t really give a damn what you have to say ‘bout this matter,” Snoke said, “It’s clear you don’t understand the finer points of experimentation.”

Or perhaps not worth the punishment. Hux kept his mouth shut.

“I have tutus, sir,” Kylo said.

“I know you do, my friend,” Snoke gave Kylo a smack on the back, “it’s why I decided on it, not to mention Captain Phasma’s wonderful suggestion of doing the experiment again, writing down the results.”

Hux shot her a look of utter shock and betrayal. Phasma gave a quick shake of her head.

Snoke didn’t notice her disagreement with him and continued, “So, are we all clear on our duties?”

A chorus of “Yes sir!”

“Sir, what about the...er...rancor thing?” Hux asked, “How are you going to do that?”

“Leave all the details to me, General, it’s most likely you may not need to get involved at all seeing your disapproval,” Snoke said the last part in a nasty tone, shift in atmosphere immediate. Uncomfortable shuffling of feet, some people looking down at their shoes, becoming interested in other things.

“Apologies Your Greatness I didn’t realise the importance of this task,” Hux said bravely.

“Are you  _mocking_   _me_ , General?” The whole room seemed to rumble from Snoke’s anger. Everyone stayed very silent, including Hux.

“Kylo, kill him,” Snoke said.

“What?” Kylo asked, as others put up their blasters, ready to take a shot at Hux if they could. Hux seemed rooted on the spot. Phasma figured he was terrified, she certainly was and she wasn’t the one Snoke had ordered to be kill.

“Nobody else do nothing. I want Kylo to kill the General,” Snoke ordered.

Kylo didn’t move. Looking at Hux, then slowly back to Snoke and said, “We need him.”

“Somebody else can do his job,” Snoke rolled his eyes, “Just take him out. Use your lightsaber, force choke him!” He even did a force choke motion, but didn’t actually force choke Hux himself.

“Sir nobody can do his job better than he can,” Kylo argued, “Killing him would be rash. His death pointless.”

Why was Snoke even making Kylo kill Hux anyway? Phasma wondered if it had anything to do with earlier conversations, and the Resistance information on them. Can’t Snoke just let it slide?

“Dispose of him!” Snoke didn’t sound like he’d say it again.

“I’m sorry,  _Your Greatness_ , but General Hux will be leading the procedure of this attack. So no, he will not be killed,” Kylo looked straight into Snoke’s eyes as he spoke, then once he was done, turned and left the room.

Everyone was silent, nobody daring to speak. Snoke was too taken aback to continue the discussion. When Hux realized he wasn’t about to get killed, he too stormed out of the room, and Phasma heard his running footsteps as he chased after Kylo. Phasma’s mind was whirring, wondering how she could get the two idiots out of this particular predicament.

Why did she even bother?

* * *

 “Kylo!” Hux called out, running after the Knight. Thankfully Kylo stopped, turning to face him, Hux slowed to a stop. “Thank you,” was all Hux managed.

“He hates me now,” Kylo said, “Doubtless I’ll be killed for disobedience.”

“You wouldn’t be in this situation if _I_  hadn’t been disobedient,” Hux said, “this time the problem is on me, not you.”

“You’re not generally one to admit that,” Kylo said with amusement.

Hux couldn’t exactly tell what Kylo was thinking though, the damned mask hiding everything. Why did he insist wearing it all the time?

“Yeah well I don’t. So feel special or whatever,” Hux said, and could almost feel physical pain admitting the next thing, “but, look, don’t expect Snoke’s going to kill you. You’re too important to him, this entire Order. Not many people can use the Force, but anyone can be a General.”

“Not just anyone can be a general, General,” Kylo said. He then reached into his clothes, pulling out a small wooden box. He handed it to Hux.

Hux stared at it, then turned it in his hands, “What is this?”

“It’s a box,” Kylo replied simply, “I got it from someone.”

“Who?” Hux asked, looking back up at Kylo, again being met by the black mask.

“Ask me again sometime.” Kylo didn’t say anything else. 

Wanting to drill him for more questions, Hux opened his mouth, but Kylo turned to run off, leaving him hanging.

From behind, Hux heard the yelling of Phasma, “General!” she caught up to him, asking, “Where’s Kylo going? What’s that?” She pointed to the box.

“I have no idea,” Hux said, answering to both questions.

Taking the box from him, Phasma slowly opened it. The two watched a ballerina dance to a music-box version of the old empire’s March. Phasma quickly closed it.

Silence.

“I guess that explains the tutus,” Hux said, taking the box from Phasma.

“But it doesn’t explain the gundark,” Phasma said, before remembering that had been her fault.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Leave a review and/or kudos <3 :D


End file.
